HomeBEAUTYGlass-Penised Gnome: How (Not) to Use a Pipette

Glass-Penised Gnome: How (Not) to Use a Pipette

This trend of squirting skincare products directly onto the face really baffles me. Ditto foundation dribbling. Pipettes are good enough to use when you squirt the product into the palm of your hand, why on earth would you try to pipe product directly onto your face? none does this in real life.

Nobody sits at their dressing table and says to their partner,

“Wait a second, Brian. Here I am holding this little glass tube full of foundation, a product that only needs one drop to ruin an entire cream carpet, and yet here I am with a brush.” Squeezing carefully with the back of my hand before applying.

‘Okay, Deirdre, it makes sense to me. You have to be careful when you are branding a pipette filled with paint for all intents and purposes.

“No, Brian! You’ve got it all wrong! What I should tilt my face at an absurd angle, hold the pipette precariously above my cheekbone and then squeeze it straight on my skin,

“But… Deirdre… what about the cream carpet?”

“Oh Brian, to hell with the carpet. I wouldn’t be thrilled to know whether or not a product would actually land on my face would more than offset any major insurance claims we might make.”

“As you wish Deirdre. But it makes you stupid, I am at pain to say.

“Brian don’t you see? I to like When I’m putting on my makeup, I look way too silly. I’m not satisfied with the fact that mascara makes me look like a crazy puffer fish, I want to smear my foundation all over my cheeks and force my eyes to focus on something unnaturally close so that May they cross over completely.

“Okay Deirdre. But look. I don’t want to be silly, and forgive me if this is crossing the line…doesn’t that sound a little sexy?”

“Doesn’t that look a little sexier, Brian?”

“Dribbling liquid, Deirdre. It’s like a tiny glass-pennised gnome ejaculating lazily in your face.


Anyway, this was meant to be a skincare post. For crying out loud – Stay on task, Crilly! For this morning skincare routine I used:

Rose Ink Micellar Cleanser (Space NK Here,

The packaging immediately appealed to me when I was testing this cleanser for the first time. The bottle is short and thick, like a small teapot but without the handle and spout. It’s cute. The mechanism inside is one of those push-down-and-product-spurts-out, which are useful when you’re working with one hand.

(It could be an episode of Innuendo Bingo, it really could be.)

The micellar cleanser itself isn’t your typical clear liquid, it’s a cream-gel of sorts. Really soothing, very refreshing to feel and does a great job of removing makeup. Or in my case, a quick morning sweep of a grand task. I rarely put balm or cream cleanser on the sink if it’s morning – I do all the heavy stuff in the evening and so Micellar has to get rid of any residue from products the night before and just a clean canvas to work with Is.

Sally Hughes Must-See Daily Serum (currently £10 at Boots Here,

I use Vitamin C Serum every morning. A dose of antioxidant protection and a little glow, can’t go wrong. It really works for me – I know you can choose a lot or different ingredients in your staple morning serum, whether it’s peptides or niacinamide or something to clear up your blackheads, but my focus is on safety And the brightness is on. No doubt this will change, but for the last few years I have been unrelenting in my Vitamin C dedication!

Sallie Hughes Must-See is powerful, non-irritating and is currently a tenor in boots. You can’t go too wrong.

My all-time favorite, though — if you’re asking — is Kiehl’s powerful line of slimming concentrates. It’s £55 so more expensive, but it has this lovely dry texture. Not oily, not watery, just… like velvet but spreadable. I have used it for years and come back to it again and again. you can find it online Here,

Dove Derma Series SPF 30 (superdrug Here,

With SPF straight on top of the serum because I had no need for an extra moisturizer this morning. Dove’s new launch is a delight: a silky, refined texture with a skin-soothing formulation. If you have sensitive skin and are struggling to find the right non-irritating sunscreen, this might be worth a try.

Here’s a video that takes less than a minute and a half to watch, so at least you can do that for me:

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

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