How comfortable are you with support? how do you address conflict And improve relationships? This is what makes a healthy relationship.
Our mother’s womb is our first relationship in this life and depending on how welcoming this place is, it will be the determining factor in our ability to give and receive in our relationships.
We leave our families with a blueprint for giving and receiving love.
As we bond with our parents, we are building a matrix for connecting with others and developing meaningful relationships. It changes as we grow but an underlying pattern develops. It strengthens or compromises our ability to stay in touch with our feelings and know how to self-soothe.
If you grew up in a fearful or chaotic environment, you often develop into an adult who has difficulty understanding your own feelings and the feelings of other people. This is a hindrance to building and maintaining healthy relationships.
We may feel a sense of lack: the belief of not having enough love to give. This belief can promote delusions of being loveless, unloved, or cut off from love. Or, that might not be enough for us.
Feeling unloved, we let go of our sense of lack so that when we reach love… make connection, what is fear, need or desperation instead.
We are unique and so are our attachment bonds. Parents don’t have to be perfect or always in tune, but it helps if they’re emotionally available.
Safe, Build meaningful relationships and bonds. Empathetic and able to set boundaries.
Isolation, Avoiding closeness or emotional connection can be distant, critical, and harsh.
ambivalent, Anxious and insecure. Can be charming, unpredictable and erratic, blaming and controlling.
at random, A bit chaotic, insensitive, explosive, abusive and distrustful of others, while craving security. Unorganized includes some or all of the above.
Even healthy relationships have problems. people make mistakes. What will happen next? Do we run, avoid issues and pretend nothing happened? Then it is unlikely to develop a healthy and secure relationship.
If we always agree on everything then reality tends to go into a fantasy where there is no room for a healthy real relationship to grow and develop.
Mistakes happen. Misunderstandings happen. This is an opportunity to build trust and intimacy if we acknowledge it and seek to make it work. Do you value connection?
Each time you work through issues you deepen the connection you share and are better equipped to deal with future issues. As in attachment bonding style, you don’t need to be perfect, just ready, available, and sensitive.
Mindfulness is being aware and focused on the present moment, calmly accepting our feelings, thoughts and physical sensations. It improves our ability to go into our inner life and be aware and present.
Now and then we all get stuck in patterns of negative thinking or destructive behavior, which is harmful to us and those around us.
Developing a mindfulness practice can deepen your connection to who you are and improve the strength of your connections and relationships.